The Ten Commandments: Seventh Commandment

Exodus 20:14

The Ten Signposts of the Bible
CAMDE—400—CALY
Creation. Abraham. MOSES. David. Elijah. 400. Christ. Apostles. Letters. Yet-to Come.

Truth is relative. That’s what most Americans will tell you. In two national surveys conducted by Barna Research, 64% of adults said that truth is always relative to an individual person and their situation. Among teenagers, 83% said that moral truth depends on circumstances. Only 6% of teens said that truth is absolute.[1]

So, there you have it. Americans are most likely to base truth on feelings.

This viewpoint conflicts with what we understand to be true from God’s Word. The moral law, summarized in the Ten Commandments, was given to Israel by God himself in the Old Testament and reaffirmed in the New Testament. These are the words inscribed on tablets by the finger of God (Ex. 31:18).[2]

God also provided specific instructions to parents, emphasizing the importance of these commandments: “You shall teach [the commandments] to your children, talking of them when you are sitting in your house, and when you are walking by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise” (Deut. 11:19).

First Commandment: No god but God (Ex. 20:2-3)
Second Commandment: No Images (Ex. 20:4-6)
Third Commandment: Don’t misuse God’s name (Ex. 20:7)
Fourth Commandment: Remember the Sabbath (Ex. 20:8-11)
Fifth Commandment: Honor your father and mother (Ex. 20:12)
Sixth Commandment: Do not murder (Ex 20:13)

SEVENTH COMMANDMENT: DO NOT COMMIT ADULTERY (Ex. 20:14)

Today, we like to call it an “affair.” That sounds a bit mysterious and intriguing. Or we tell our teens to be careful and practice safe sex—because teens are going to do what teens do. But the seventh commandment states: “You shall not commit adultery” (Ex. 20:14). This covers any sexual encounter outside the biblical covenant of marriage. 

The basis for this command is first found in Genesis 2:24, then repeated by Jesus in the Gospels and by Paul in his letter to the Ephesians: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”

The marriage covenant is between a man and a woman who have publicly committed to each other for life, promising before God to keep their sexual relationship exclusive to their marriage.

The writer of the book of Hebrews says, “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous” (Heb. 13:4). The Proverbs says that the person who commits adultery “lacks sense” (Prov. 6:32). Adultery breaks the most valued and intimate agreement in human relationships and is one of the two biblical grounds for divorce (Matt. 5:32).

Jesus expanded the command against adultery by teaching, “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart’” (Matt. 5:27-28).

Expounding on these words of Jesus, theologian John Calvin said, “Let him who does not touch a woman not flatter himself . . . while in the meantime his heart burns with lust.”[3]

To lust after something or someone means “to long for, crave.” Job described lust as "a fire that burns to Destruction” (Job 31:12 NIV). That’s why, long before the printing press, computers, and smartphones, Job said, “I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a young woman” (Job 31:1 NIV).

Love desires the person. Lust desires the portion. 

Adultery causes deep pain, grief, and regret that will have a lasting impact on you, your spouse, children, and grandchildren. It also affects your witness for Christ, your friendships, and everyone who trusted you. In addressing this, pastor and author Kent Hughes specifically speaks to men.  

Infidelity tells a child, “Your mother is not worth much, and your father is a liar and a cheat. Furthermore, honor is not nearly as important as pleasure. In fact, my child, my own satisfaction is more important than you.”[4] 

A word to young adults, men, husbands, and wives.

Young Adults
God gives us his instructions for our good (Rom. 7:12). They are not meant to be burdensome (1 John 5:3). You might feel that “everyone else is doing it,” but the truth is that those who love God want to obey him by doing what is right. Following this command will help you avoid carrying sexual baggage into other relationships, especially a future marriage. 

Men
Take the necessary steps to keep your marriage pure. Set boundaries. Seek accountability. Get professional help if pornography has become an addiction. Jesus, using hyperbole, said, “If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away” (Matt. 5:29). If something is leading you to sin, it's time for action.

Husbands and Wives
Protect your marriage. Nurture your relationship. Fulfill each other physically and emotionally (1 Cor. 7:1-5). And don’t be too proud to seek help if you notice your relationship growing distant. Be proactive in caring for and committing to each other.

At Living Grounded, we offer a Marriage Recharge each year, along with podcasts and resources to help couples stay focused on the most important human relationship. We also have many podcasts addressing marriage issues. You can check out the podcast “When Porn Hits Home” here, and a podcast on protecting your children in our digital world here. 

Remember—marriage isn’t just about you. Your children are at stake. Commit to doing relationships God’s way.

PERSONAL TIME WITH GOD 
Read and reflect on Exodus 20:14. Where are you most vulnerable to compromise in your thoughts or actions? 

Talking to God: Ask God to help you put needed guardrails in place.

Have questions? Please send your questions to our team. We're happy to assist as we explore God's Word together. Submit your question below, and we'll respond soon. If you're interested in learning more about a relationship with Jesus or seeking spiritual guidance, let us help you take the next step. 

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