Living hope

Let’s face it…you shouldn’t say everything that comes to your mind. We should always pursue peace. For instance, “That is the ugliest baby I have ever seen!” is a thought that needs to be kept caged even if you have never been more convinced of anything in your life! “Absolutely!” is always the answer to the question, “Honey, does this dress make me look thinner?” Don’t hesitate. One aspect of a successful marriage is the understanding that every sentence ending with a question mark is not always a question!

Oh, man, I really want to say it. The words are right there on the tip of my tongue. They are as sharp as a sword and hot enough to burn through the person who has just unloaded on me, insulted me, or said something disparaging. So often, I search for the right words to say. I consult a dictionary and a thesaurus. But I need no reference tools on these occasions! The volcanic words erupt from deep within. They make the twelve-inch journey from my heart to my lips in a nanosecond. Their engines roar on the runway of my tongue, ready to take off like an X-15 fighter jet!

Charles Swindoll once told me, “Preach to hurting people, and you will never lack an audience.” I recently heard the same advice from Rick Warren as I listened to a podcast while running one morning on the streets of Mae Sot, Thailand. Warren explained how God often uses pain—sometimes self-inflicted—to soften our hearts and remind all those listening to preach to people who are in pain. Here’s how the apostle Peter said it.

How do you live a life that holds others up? What does it mean to submit to one another? Let’s start with a passage and then consider a real-life example that demonstrates how we are to place others above ourselves. Our passage is from Paul’s letter to the Ephesians.

Peter’s instruction is not fancy or flowery. He is speaking to men in a concise and straightforward manner. Husbands must lead their homes. And they must lead God’s way. Failure here ends in a broken family…and a trail of broken hearts.

I love the fact that Peter uses Sarah as an inspired example of biblical submission. Read her story in Genesis 11-23. She was not a wallflower who waited on Abraham to call the shots. She was an opinionated woman, who devised an ill-conceived family plan (Genesis 16:1-2), mistreated the accomplice (Genesis 16:6), laughed at God (Genesis 18:12), and finally ordered Abraham to get rid of Hagar and Ishmael by sending them off to wander in the desert (Genesis 21:9-10). Sarah destroys the world’s twisted picture of submission!

The trap of outward appearance, whether wearing too much or too little to draw attention, has been an issue since Job made a covenant with his eyes not to look lustfully at a woman (Job 31:1). In our passage today, the apostle Peter weighs in. Peter is not writing against hairstyles, jewelry, or fashionable clothes. Instead, he is writing against the temptation to spend more time primping the fleshly “outward” look than prepping the spiritual inward character.

The believer’s life should be attractive and inviting to those who don’t know Jesus. This also applies to every believer’s marriage relationship. Today’s passage is directed toward wives, and Peter’s words are misunderstood by many. Let’s work to understand how Scripture addresses the role of the wife in her marriage.

A wandering sheep is a meal ready to be eaten. Separated from the flock, a straying sheep is vulnerable to the attack of wild animals. They also risk falling, rolling over on their backs, and as a result, incapable of getting up. Straying sheep are in danger of getting lost and staying lost until they meet their demise. Apart from Jesus, we are all “straying like sheep”—lost in sin, vulnerable to the Enemy, and caught in spiritual darkness. But that all changes with Jesus!