Romans: Marks of a Believer

Romans 12:9-21

How should a Christian live their life? What qualities distinguish a follower of Jesus? If you described someone as, “They love Jesus,” what actions would you see them doing, and what would you hear them saying? 

In this practical section of Romans starting with chapter 12, Paul begins by saying that we should present our bodies as living sacrifices, keep our minds renewed and grounded in God’s Word, and serve each other with the gifts God has graciously given us (Rom. 12:1-8). 

In today’s passage, Paul becomes very specific. I count more than twenty concise, direct exhortations in Romans 12:9-21. Rather than analyzing each verse one by one, I’ll organize Paul’s instructions into five main points. Let’s look at these qualities of a true follower of Jesus.

Active Love (Rom. 12:9-10)

Romans 12:9-10
Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.

The word translated as "genuine” (Grk: anypokritos) literally means free from hypocrisy. Believers have experienced God's love (Rom. 5:8); therefore, through the power of the Holy Spirit, we are called to demonstrate love to others. We are to “love one another with brotherly affection," which signifies a familial love.  

When we have genuine love, we turn from evil and grasp the good. We work at honoring others, considering them above ourselves (Phil. 2:3). 

Passionate Service (Rom. 12:11-13)

Romans 12:11-13
Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord.  Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.  Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality. 

In the list of gifts mentioned in Romans 12:4-8, Paul noted that one who leads should lead “with zeal” (Rom. 12:8). Serving the Lord is not for the lazy or apathetic. We should serve “in zeal” and “be fervent.” These two words convey a sense of urgency and enthusiasm. Other believers are relying on us today.

I believe this directly relates to Christian parents. As you raise children, there is an urgent need to actively pursue growth in your spiritual life. Your kids need to see that you “rejoice in hope,” which means living with an eternal perspective. They should witness your patience and trust in the Lord during difficult times. Finally, parents, we must prioritize prayer. Our families need to see that we are willing to make sacrifices to serve them and others. 

Respond to Hurt with Humility (Rom. 12:14, 17, 19-21)

Maybe you are different from me, but my first instinctive response when I experience pain is to strike back. When words are said or things are done that hurt me or those I love, it is only by the Spirit’s power that I can “bless those who persecute [me]” (Rom. 12:14). Only through the Spirit’s work can I do what is honorable and not repay evil for evil (Rom. 12:17). Only by the Spirit’s control can I hold back from reacting and retaliating. Paul says, 

Romans 12:19-21
Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.”  Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

When others hurt me, which is difficult and causes pain, I must let God handle it. Empowered by the Spirit, I am to respond to hurt with humility. Paul says, “For by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” This is a quote from Proverbs 25:21-22. Bible scholar John Witmer explains, “The coals on the head may refer to a ritual in Egypt in which a person showed his repentance by carrying a pan of burning charcoal on his head. Helping rather than cursing an enemy may cause him to be ashamed and penitent.”[1]

Paul’s exhortation is this: Don’t let the evil actions of others control you; don’t live a defeated life because of what others do. Instead, through the Spirit’s power, overcome evil by responding with the love of Christ. Admittedly, it is easier for me to type these words than to follow them!

Meet Others Where They Are (Rom. 12:15)

Paul says, “Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep” (Rom. 12:15). This means I am called to meet others where they are, not where I want them to be. I should rejoice in others' blessings without questioning why I am not blessed in the same way. When I rejoice with those who rejoice, I am pushing away my own envy and jealousy. 

And I am to weep with those who weep. A person going through grief does not need me to quote Romans 8:28 as a reminder that all things work together for good. That is the truth of God’s Word for sure. But hold back on that one when a person is weeping. Proverbs 25:20 says, “Whoever sings songs to a heavy heart is like one who takes off a garment on a cold day, and like vinegar on soda.”

Promote Unity (Rom. 12:16-18)

Romans 12:16, 18
Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight . . . If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. 

These verses remind me that promoting unity is a sign of a true believer. It also demonstrates humility. I should “never be wise in [my] own sight.” Paul speaks very practically here. Some people like to stay stirred up, agitated, always “grinding their axe.” You can’t fix another person, but “as far as it depends on you,” do your part, always guided by the Spirit, to live in peace and unity. 

PERSONAL TIME WITH GOD
Time in the Word: Read and reflect on Romans 12:9-21.

Talking to God: Which of these traits do you find hardest to live out — and why?

Have questions?  Please send your questions to our team. We're happy to help as we study God's Word together. Submit your question below, and we'll respond soon. Let us know if you want to learn more about a relationship with Jesus or if you seek spiritual guidance.