Job: When Friendship Fails

Psalm 55

Have you ever been hurt, deeply hurt, by a friend? By someone you confided in, a person with whom you were vulnerable? You loved spending time with them, and everything was so good…until it wasn’t. It never ceases to amaze me how quickly things can change. When Job’s life crumbled, most of his friends disappeared. Granted, after Job was restored, they returned, offered Job “sympathy and comfort,” and joined in the celebration party (Job 42:11); however, most stayed away when Job was at his lowest.

In the book of Job, we learn a great deal about friendship. Job’s friends were few when he sat in the garbage dump nursing his wounds. Job was a well-known man; it wasn’t as if they had missed the news about his misfortune. Only three friends came to check on him, resulting in more harm than good. Job finally said, “…Miserable comforters are you all” (Job 16:2). Often, friends try to help, but they can be miserable comforters. Sometimes, friends seem more like enemies. That’s the situation King David expresses in Psalm 55. If you are facing a difficult situation with a friend, Psalm 55 is your go-to prayer. Hear David’s heart-cry in these words.

Psalm 55:1-5
Give ear to my prayer, O God, and hide not yourself from my plea for mercy! Attend to me, and answer me; I am restless in my complaint and I moan, because of the noise of the enemy, because of the oppression of the wicked. For they drop trouble upon me, and in anger they bear a grudge against me. My heart is in anguish within me; the terrors of death have fallen upon me. Fear and trembling come upon me, and horror overwhelms me.

The Psalms teach us how to pray. David shares his heart openly with God, pleading for him to listen and reply. David’s heart is in agony as he fears for his life. The word “overwhelm” means “to cover.” David senses fear, trembling, and horror enveloping him like a heavy blanket. We can recall a time when we dealt with similar emotions. While the specifics are not revealed, a friend has caused the pain that David is experiencing.

Psalm 55:12-14
For it is not an enemy who taunts me—then I could bear it; it is not an adversary who deals insolently with me—then I could hide from him. But it is you, a man, my equal, my companion, my familiar friend. We used to take sweet counsel together; within God’s house we walked in the throng.

This pretend friend, now a real enemy, was the worst kind. David said, “My companion stretched out his hand against his friends; he violated his covenant. His speech was smooth as butter, yet war was in his heart; his words were softer than oil, yet they were drawn swords” (Ps. 55:20-21). He acted like a true friend, probably even asking David, “Hey brother, how can I pray for you?” But behind David’s back, he was slick with words, “as smooth as butter” and “softer than oil.” All the while, he had his sword drawn, ready to take David down.

Re-read David’s words in Psalm 55:12-14. David said he could handle the pain if it came from an enemy. You expect an adversary to deliver a blow. But the dagger came from a man David trusted, an equal, a partner, a person with whom he had shared his heart. They even studied the Bible and worshiped together. That’s a betrayal that cuts to the core.

I wish I could say that this betrayal of friendship issue is rare—it probably only happened to David, but unfortunately, we know better. We have all experienced the devastating pain and may still be reeling from it. So, what do we do? I see two action steps in the final two verses of this psalm.

First, we ask God to help us release the hurt to him.

Psalm 55:22
Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved.

The Hebrew word translated as “cast” is an action word. It means to “throw,” “eject,” “dispose of,” “remove,” or “scatter.” Think of playing catch with a friend: you take the baseball and throw it to them. Now think of playing catch with Jesus. Wad up the pain and dispose of it by throwing it to him. He never throws it back. Tomorrow, you do the same thing. After a while, your ball of pain gets smaller and smaller. Jesus is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. He will not leave or forsake you; he will hold you up and take care of you. He is close to the brokenhearted and will give you the strength to stand firm. He will “never permit the righteous to be moved.”

Second, don’t seek revenge.

Psalm 55:23
But you, O God, will cast them down into the pit of destruction; men of blood and treachery shall not live out half their days. But I will trust in you.

Trust God to do his mighty work. Do not seek revenge or attempt to get back at the person. Allow God to work in his way and his timing. Pride instills a desire for revenge. But let’s face it, revenge operates in reverse. Humbly trusting God enables us to move forward. Leave the work to God.

Job’s friends deserted him when he needed them most. Yet, he invited them to his recovery celebration party. The most remarkable man in all the east had a humbled heart.

PERSONAL TIME WITH GOD
Read Psalm 55. Reflect on the flow of the psalm and focus on the pain David experienced from a friend’s betrayal.

Talking to God
Ask God to help you cast your burdens upon him. Thank him in advance for sustaining you.

Job Zoom Call
On Monday, May 5 at 7:00 pm, we will meet on a Zoom call to review what we have learned in Job and answer questions. Information and a link to join the call will be included in the May 5 devotion email.

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